To be honest I was a little nervous to start having children… my husband Rhys had joked so many times that he wanted 10 kids, that I wasn’t sure if he was joking or not. My sister had given birth 9 months after her wedding day so it seemed everyone assumed I would do the […]
To be honest I was a little nervous to start having children… my husband Rhys had joked so many times that he wanted 10 kids, that I wasn’t sure if he was joking or not. My sister had given birth 9 months after her wedding day so it seemed everyone assumed I would do the same.
So naturally I constantly got asked after I was married “When are you having your own?”
Rhys and I were engaged 7 months after we met and a year later married sunrise Byron Bay. For us we wanted to enjoy our time together just the two of us, expand our relationship, get to know each other on deeper levels and when we felt we were both ready it would be the right time.
We decided that it was important for us to be in optimal health to bring in a child, so we visited a fertility clinic in Sydney with a well known Author on natural fertility and also she had supported a family member of mine.
At our first appointment we laughed as she showed us the staff had drawn 🙂 smily faces on our documents and said we were the healthiest people they had! They were surprised that we were already living a lifestyle they encourage – mindful of removing toxins from food to skin care and more. We didn’t expect any issues, we just wanted to give our baby the healthiest start possible.
We were grateful we had taken this path. When the results came back Rhys who had been working in the mines had extremely high metal levels in his system. Being remote out west traveling to Sydney for treatment wasn’t a option (9 hours one way for us) so we ordered special natural tablets from the US for him to take for the detox which was a 2 month process.
I was surprised to learn that one of the results for myself was that I had a bacteria in my system that has been linked to causing miscarriages. (Over the next year I spoke to a few women who had experienced one or more miscarriages and it turned out some had the same issue except they only tested after I shared this with them). It took longer for me to heal as I tried to do so as naturally as possible.
The thing I loved most about going to the clinic is I learnt all about my natural rhythms of my cycle. How to tell when I am most fertile, how to read different messages from my body during my cycle and also when I wouldn’t be likely to conceive. Our bodies have a whole magical system that talks to us everyday of our cycle and I honestly feel this should be taught to women in school (I will be sharing more info about this in my members area).
The question when are you having your own began to hit a cord during this time of healing. I wondered how difficult this question was for those who’d had lost a child, having trouble or children aren’t even an option. This question would be difficult to hear let alone answer.
I began to answer this question by saying “That’s a personal question”. I laughed when a friend and I discussed this and she said pretty much people are asking “So are you and your husband having sex?”. For those reading this, I’d encourage you to be mindful when you ask this question you may not know what is going on in someone’s personal life. I personally wouldn’t ask this question.
I AM ON DIVINE TIME
Even after everything I wasn’t sure if I was ready to be a Mum. It didn’t just happen for Rhys and I and low vibe thoughts entered my mind at times (unworthy, being punished etc) I took responsibility and recognised these and took action to shift these thought patterns that were not serving me.
The first time I realised I was ready was after I did a home pregnancy test. It was negative and I cried until my husband came home and I spoke with him about it. That moment was a beautiful one because I realised I am ready.
Had a moment where I burst into tears during a pregnancy yoga workshop as part of my Yoga Australia studies. Bless my teacher who saw the tears begin to roll down my cheeks, she closed the text book and told all students she decided we should do a meditation. In that meditation she spoke all the things I needed to hear as if she was directly speaking to me about the situation. It let me ground in that moment, trust and know I am on divine time.
When Rhys and I moved we decided to take a break, to focus first on a holiday, moving and buying our first home together and the funniest thing happened.
Few months after moving to Parkes I was extremely tired, sleeping in or would be back in bed by the time my husband would come home for lunch. He was surprised as I am usually up for sunrise and go all day so he said to me maybe I should do a home pregnancy test.
I told him it was probably something else however his words stuck in my mind and I felt there maybe some truth to them. After a another week or so passed and others made comments I finally grabbed a test. The longest three minutes of my life passed:
Had to giggle it was seriously during the time when we had completely surrendered our attachment and thats when our baby decided ok I am here now! It had been a year and a half since we first visited the clinic. Also the blood test showed I was way more than 3-5 weeks as the home test said I was actually 10 weeks!
So this is an exciting new chapter for us! How can it get any better than this?! Baby Mckay is on the way.