When people tell me they are scared of getting started on an idea or vision because they are scared of failing I feel for them. Failure feels so real, feels as though it can tear our world apart and that there would be no coming back from it. Yet truth is failure isn’t even real! […]
When people tell me they are scared of getting started on an idea or vision because they are scared of failing I feel for them.
Failure feels so real, feels as though it can tear our world apart and that there would be no coming back from it. Yet truth is failure isn’t even real!
I remember when I thought I HAD FAILED.
I’d left my job and at the beginning I was making lots of money, my clients were having incredible life changing results and I just assumed that all would go up from there. I was on top of the world or so I thought.
Not long down the track I found I was struggling to pay bills, I was feeling unsupported by others who I felt had abandoned me when things got tough and I felt like a total fraud and a failure. How can I ever come back from this I thought?
I was heartbroken and feeling that my dream of being my own boss was a total fantasy.
So I went back and took my old job as a receptionist.
I felt judged by others, I felt that people enjoyed the fact I hadn’t succeeded. To say I was embarrassed would be an understatement. I felt so much shame.
It’s a brave thing to step out into the world and stand for something. Especially when you’ve decided that the way you are going to PLAY in the world (work) is by doing the thing you love and being paid for it.
Often I see people starting out to create the lifestyle they love, leaving the job that’s been draining them and having this idea in their mind that overnight they will become a success.
When thinks don’t turn out as expected they begin to have doubts and the fear grows inside that they will fail. One thing I have come to know is that firstly people feel like they are not a success because they are buying into other peoples idea of success.
So here’s my first tip: Define what success means for YOU.
Success to some people is the amount of money in their bank account, success to others is being able to travel any where in the world and work, for some it’s just being able to create a lifestyle where they can have quality time with their family and for some people its about how many followers they have.
Ones person idea of success doesn’t have to be yours. So before you decide that you have failed ask yourself what does success actually look and feel like to you?
I know a lady on Instagram who has a ridiculous amount of followers yet I also know she struggles to pay the bills. I don’t even have a quarter of the followers and I am in a better position financially, I have quality time to do the things I love which allow me to show up for my clients and I have quality time with family. I’ve created everything to suit my lifestyle not the other way around. In some peoples eyes I don’t look successful based on followers yet I know they don’t see the results those in my community have each and every day. For me it’s about quality not quantity – I’ve created a very connected community.
Does that worry me that other people don’t see me as a success? Sometimes but I realised the times it does is because I am wanting to live by someone else standards or expectations.
Once you define what success looks like you might find you’re already on the right path! Make this your mantra: I am already successful.
Anytime you feel like you have failed check in with yourself and realise that it’s likely you feel this way because you are concerned you don’t appear successful to other people or other peoples idea of success.
I felt like this quote I saw on Instagram recently is relevant here: “Your challenge isn’t to make more money, buy more things, improve yourself, or change your life in any way… your challenge is to remember you are already whole and complete.”
The more you view yourself as someone who is whole and complete the more you will feel successful AND usually what you were busy trying to force to happen just happens. You my friend are already successful just keep being you and back yourself no matter what.
Tip Two: You’re so called failure is actually a lesson.
There’s been a lot of times when things have shown up on my own path where I’ve curled up in a ball on the ground crying and wanting to give up. From having to go back to my job, to having my accountant asking me if I should just do it as a hobby, to having things not turn out how I wished and more.
However despite everything I believe in my heart that this calling is what I am meant to do and no matter what I will keep going until I find a way. It’s not about knowing how it’s about believing in yourself and your vision, it’s about backing yourself even when no one else does and it’s about trusting that life is happening for you (not to you).
Anytime you feel like you’ve failed stop. Take the time to learn from this. What insights have you gained? What didn’t work and why? What did go well? How can you improve or what support can you give yourself now? Be open to learning as much as you can by getting out into the world and making mistakes – give yourself permission to fail so you can learn.
Also realise that you probably have had some unrealistic expectations of yourself. We can be so hard on ourselves for not succeeded straight away so PLEASE give yourself a break.
When you give something a go do the best you can because that way you know you did your best and next time you can always do better!
Yes the first time I left my job and vowed I would never go back… I did.
Years later though when I was living in an even more remote area, with internet that wasn’t as great I got myself in a position where I left my job at the time. At first I kept cutting down my hours until I was doing 9 hours or less a week.
My husband looked at me confused and said why are you still going to work when you’re making more money on your own, you don’t need this job?
It was the feeling of security I was holding onto and the fear of what if I fail again? When I admitted that to myself and Rhys (my hubby) I left my job knowing that I would only fail if I see it as a failure.
I AM OPEN TO LEARNING
All the results I have seen with my clients have been able to happen because I’ve been able to create this lifestyle for myself.
All my business trips in Australia and overseas, all my bills, events, programs and opportunities to give back have come from the money I’ve created through doing what I love and I am proud that I gave myself a second chance because years have passed and I am still doing my thing!
Is there room to grow? Definitely!
Am I happy with where I have been and what I’ve done? Completely!
Magic lies with being grateful for the present and who you already are. You don’t need to prove yourself to anyone. Believe you are already a success and you are.
This blog was in response to a question I received in the free Inspired Leadership Series:
INVITATION: Looking for 4 Wholehearted Creators to join our circle where you create a business and lifestyle you love. Gain access to a number of resources to face any fears you have that are holding you back from creating the business of your dreams, access tools to support you to show up in your leadership as well as tools to support you to create your ideal lifestyle, connect with like-minded souls twice a month, receive accountability to support you to follow through and more. Doors closed 20th July (Won’t open again until 2020).
Go to the following page to Wholehearted Creator Circle to find out more: